i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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