She's the barista slut.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
