I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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