Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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