it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
