The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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