I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
