Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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