dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i now understand why vodka
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize