Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You took a bar mat shot.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize