you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize