Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
