Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
