I skipped work to stalk him.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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