your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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