Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We are all done wearing pants today
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
