You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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