Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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