if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
