I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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