She said her name was "party"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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