i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
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there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
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We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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