I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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