so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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