I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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