Just fell off a train. Bad.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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