I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
