She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
