i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
what day is it and did you see me today?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
