Where did you get a picture of my penis
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Let the clothes fall where they may.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize