I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
