he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
