I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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