had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize