I wish I could teleport
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
now i know why i became what i already was.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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