Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
