More tranny stories later!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
