We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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