I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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