i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
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I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
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I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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