What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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