He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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