I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
