hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Randomize
