This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
