ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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