Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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