hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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