WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.