new low.... made out with someone while peeing
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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