grandma shit on top of the toilet
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
