Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow