a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome