You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.