I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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