i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she peed on how many people?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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