Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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