Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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