I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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