pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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