We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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